I am Not Enough (Thank Goodness For That!)
This post is hard for me to write, because I know that there is so much good intention behind the phrase, “You are enough.” There is a part of me that so badly wants to believe that the affirmation is true, but it just isn’t.
I am not enough.
You are not enough.
We are imperfect and infected with sin to the very core.
When we say, “You are enough,” we are leaving out the most important part. What we mean to say is, “Through faith in God alone, you are enough.”
And that is SO true. It’s just not quite as catchy.
We don’t have to track our mistakes or obsess over how we look, how clean we keep our homes, how we raise our children or how perfectly they behave. I think that is the intention of the message.
We don’t have to be perfect.
BUT we also, on our own, are wildly insufficient to earn the right to God’s promises or to deserve all that He blesses us with.
Without Jesus, we are nothing.
By the grace of God, we have been blessed with the promise of eternal life in Heaven and an unending list of blessings here on Earth EVEN THOUGH we are completely incapable of earning any of it on our own. We don’t deserve those things and have no right to them.
If we are using the phrase “You are enough,” to remind each other of the fact that Jesus’ death paid for all of our shortcomings, and that we don’t have to worry about earning God’s love, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
But we have to be careful as Christian women, because the world would have us believe that we are enough on our own. And that is the most dangerous lie that we could fall for.
Let’s be clear - there is nothing wrong with personal growth, gratitude, hope for the future, or a positive mindset.
I fully believe in the power of personal development and a positive mindset. Dwelling on mistakes, imperfections, and fears holds us back from doing the work that God is calling us to do.
The issue is that our focus is misguided. We don’t need to believe in ourselves or to work on our ability to love ourselves. All achievement and all hope are blessings from God. It has nothing to do with us.
The idea that we are perfect just the way that we are, that the truth is within us, or that we should just follow our hearts to find happiness, is just not true.
And what a relief that is!
My shaking belief in something as imperfect as myself, just would not hold up under the pressures of the world. It would be a constant struggle to believe in my own enough-ness.
Thank goodness I don’t have to do that!
Before I go on any further, I want to thank Allie Beth Stuckey for sharing this truth in her book You’re Not Enough (and That’s Okay). It is the ONE book that I would recommend EVERY woman read.
I’ll be completely honest and say that when I first read the title, I did not think that I was going to agree with her. I love the idea of supporting mothers in finding peace and comfort in their lives as opposed to living in constant anxiety as they work to perfect their existence.
Somehow, we’ve developed this idea that we had to wear sizes 2 and 32DD, have perfectly contoured cheekbones, perfectly balance motherhood and wildly successful careers, and never ask for help with any of it to be lovable women.
And I am ALL FOR a message that gets us out of that mindset.
However, we also should not look to ourselves for validation, worth, or hope for the future. Because those things are not in US but in our FAITH in Jesus.
Within the book, Stuckey references Ephesians 2: 1-5 “As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins… it is by grace you have been saved.” (NIV)
“It is BY GRACE you have been saved."
In You Are Not Enough, Allie does such a great job of addressing the fact that our generation is struggling to find fulfillment because we are looking for it in all the wrong places.
Many of us look for it in successful careers or in our roles as wives and mothers.
The life that you are building isn’t enough to bring you complete happiness and fulfillment. In my favorite section of the book, Allie Beth Stuckey reminds us that, “No person and no role can replace the longing our creator alone can meet.”
When we find ourselves feeling like victims of our own lives, the world tells us to look toward self-love and self-care for happiness.
If you’re looking for happiness in self-care, you’re going to be disappointed.
Allie Beth Stuckey makes a point to note that this truth is not a suggestion that it is inappropriate for us to rest or to take care of ourselves.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
Take rest when you need it. Take care of the body that God gave you. But also know that those things are not going to bring you happiness.
Rather than working towards a life that brings us fulfillment, we get to choose happiness and gratitude for the life that we are living right now. God has blessed our lives, not because we’ve earned it, but because we have been saved.
Seriously, get yourself a copy of this book.
Or listen to the audio version on Audible! You can multitask reading with catching up on laundry folding.
And then come back! I would love to hear what you think of it!
Also, for more tips, motivation, and inspirational book recommendations, join us in the For More Of What Matters Community Facebook group! I can’t wait to chat more with you there!
